How much do I matter?
I asked myself this question the other day when faced with yet another scenario where I had the option
to choose putting others before myself and sacrifice my own needs or to think of myself and sacrifice their needs.
So this time I choose me! I felt guilty at first but then I started to justify my decision citing how my needs would
never get met if I ignored them the whole time. And how everyone around me benefits when I look after my own needs
because I am a happier person to be around. I also noted that when my needs have been met I am absolutely more than
delighted to look after everyone around me. It’s when I ignore my needs and try to look after others first that I begin
to resent my actions and even the people I’m helping.
So having this awareness through Couselling and Coaching means that I can actively pre-empt this negative pattern from happening.
If I look after myself and the people in my life in the correct order then everyone wins.
Although I know this in theory I can fall into old habits in practice as much as the next person. It’s the awareness
through my experience in counselling that is my warning that something isn’t sitting well with me and I look into it to rectify it.
I think this should put into practice by everyone as a healthy way to behave. I regularly have clients
sit in front of me and tell me they are unhappy and when we delve into the situation it is discovered that the
client doesn’t prioritise their own happiness. How can you be happy if your too busy thinking of how to please
others and not yourself? Sometimes this pattern is so strong that the person has no idea what it is that makes them happy!
So here are a few questions to ask yourself and to keep asking yourself as one answer is never enough.
Who am I?
What makes me happy?
What do I want in my life?
What am I willing to do to make it happen?
The more questions you ask of yourself the closer you get to your authentic self.
If you still feel you cannot find your own happiness call today for an appointment.